Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
