what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
