How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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