You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize