She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
