It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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