Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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