Dual....:-)
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
