It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
