I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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