so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
