"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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