doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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