Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
