Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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