Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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