I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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