i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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