I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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