just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize