And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
