If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
