Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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