end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your penis caused this!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize