I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize