If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize