Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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