I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize