Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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