the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
