dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
