If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
