What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
