never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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