That's when you crack a 10am beer
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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