Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
