you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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