I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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