you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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