theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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