I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
