Non-Jews are for practice
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
