You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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