im holly from the hills drunk
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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