I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
