I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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