Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
