hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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