Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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