Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Found your dick twin last night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
