Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
