Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
