It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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