I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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