sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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