Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Someone came in the potted fern
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
