just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
