Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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