dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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