he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
