never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
